Live a Dying Dream
by araeo
Summary: In a world where Bella doesn't move to Forks at 17, Edward is lonelier than ever. He breaks from the coven and flees to Chicago, where a fate that won't be denied shoves Bella in his path. *3rd Place Judges' choice for the There Will Be Blood contest.
1. The Dream

_This was my entry for the There Will Be Blood Anonymous contest, which won third place in the judges' round! Thanks, ladies, for hosting this awesome contest, and I'm beyond excited my entry placed!_

_I have a BPOV of this written, because it was actually the first version I wrote. If you'd like to read it, put this on alert, because I'll be posting it soon._

_Many, many thanks to ladyrip, EchoesOfTwilight and karentwilighted for beta work, pre-reading, and listening to my silliness. _

**Summary:** In a world where Bella doesn't move to Forks at seventeen, Edward is lonelier than ever. He breaks from the coven and flees to Chicago, where a fate that won't be denied cleverly shoves Bella in his path. AU.

* * *

**-Live a Dying Dream-**

"Alice...I made a mistake."

Venom washes into my mouth in a surge, the response triggered by the mere memory of _her _taste. Even now, part of me wants to crash through the wall between us to get at the last few precious mouthfuls of her blood.

Surely, in my frenzy, I couldn't have left much more than that.

I can't remember if it's been minutes or hours since she died in agony in my arms. Since I _killed_ her.

_"Edward, you have to tell me where you are. I can't help you if I can't see where you are!"_ Alice whisper-yells on her end of the connection. I'd take pride in the fact that my evasive tactics concerning her visions proved successful ― if I wasn't deathly worried about what had just happened in the room behind me.

"Chicago," I snap, finally realizing I'm so screwed that I have to let my family help. Right now, I need my family. A family I've ignored for a year, and now I selfishly expect them to drop everything and rush to my aid. Then again, that's what I am. Selfish. But there's no denying that I need their assistance. I've made a complete mess of my life, and I need them to come and help me clean it up ― again.

_I failed._

Now I am surely damned, if I wasn't already before. Bella was my taste of paradise and I greedily squandered her away, my twin lusts robbing her of the very life I so admired about her. Because of me, she now lies cold and unmoving in the next room.

_"Edward, you've got to tell me what's going on. All I get are flashes of you...well, that I'd rather not see. Emmett says to tell you congratulations on losing your V-card." _

_Oh, sweet Jesus Christ_. Alice never _could_ keep a secret. If it was physically possible, I'd be turning red.

_Like the smears of Bella's blood..._

Alice is still talking, her words falling on deaf ears. "..._so if this is something bad, you have to tell me what happened,"_ she pleads.

"I...I think I found my mate," I manage hoarsely, nearly choking on the words. Alice's squeal almost pierces my eardrum, sending my already wound nerves a notch higher, and I'm in no mood to gently set her to rights. "Alice!" She stops abruptly at the harshness of my tone. "I tried to change her...it didn't work."

_"What do you mean, 'it didn't work'?"_ she demands, her voice a harsh screech that makes me yank the phone away from my ear.

"I took too much," I whisper. Alice has finally stopped yelling, but now my head feels like it might explode. The pain of tears is so much worse when one literally has none to cry, and added to the piercing tone of Alice's voice, I have a headache of massive proportions ― which I didn't even know was possible for a vampire.

_"No! I would have seen!"_

"I was hiding from you, Alice."

_"You think I didn't know that, brother mine? Just so you know, I _let_ you hide. But I would have seen something like THIS. You're overreacting."_

I sigh heavily, knowing there is nothing to be done ― for Bella or convincing Alice of the gravity of my situation. "I suppose Carlisle's already on his way?" I ask wearily.

_"Of course, Edward. We wouldn't let you go through this alone, you know that."_

"When can I expect him?"

_"He'll land at three-thirty local time. And Edward?"_

Having a conversation with Alice is so much worse when I can't read her mind. "Yes?"

_"You might want to go in and check on her." _Is she actually laughing at me? I just killed someone ― _no, I just killed my _mate_ ―_ and my sister finds my situation _funny?_ Rage begins to boil in me as I cut the connection, throwing my phone in the general direction of the couch.

After all that indecision, then all the planning, the surveillance, the manipulation... I got within inches of my goal, but in the end, my much-vaunted self-control failed me. The temptation of her blood, her body...it had all been too much.

I stagger the short distance from the living area to her room, bracing my weight against the doorframe, surveying the chaos and tragedy before me. Clothes are everywhere, littering every surface. The bed is a mess...so is Bella. Though I'd tried to clean her up, there's no mistaking the gruesome marks at her neck and chest. Not so surprisingly, very little blood stains the mussed sheets _―_ I'd savored almost every drop that bled from her veins as I fell upon her in a haze of pleasure and hunger.

~v~

The first time I laid eyes on Isabella Swan, her death became inevitable. She had no idea how close she'd come when she approached me with her little notepad, smiling uncomfortably, looking small and unassuming in her worn shirt and jeans. With my vampire abilities, my brain was able to process her features much faster than a human male. I had time to linger over her form, to memorize every angle and curve of her face. Shiny, chestnut brown hair, pulled back at the nape of her neck, left me with the perfect view of her elegant, pale...succulent throat. She would be delicious, I knew, just from the way her scent called to me. Doomed, she was destined to feel the edge of my teeth because of her blood, yet...there was something else about her.

I snapped at her when she came to take my order, positive if she remained within my reach for one more second, it would be her last. That memory of her turning away to get my cup of coffee_ ―_ my prop to help me look human_ ―_ was one of the best I could recall. Immense relief had me slumping back into the seat, thankful that I wasn't going to have to kill everyone in the tiny restaurant.

I couldn't resist observing her walk back to the server's station. Tension of another sort settled low and hot in my groin, only adding to the sensory overload. Her wavy hair fell halfway down her back, pointing straight down to nicely curved hips and...yes, there was no doubt I very much enjoyed watching Bella leave. My body reacted to the unassumingly graceful, loose-limbed way she moved, even though I was positive she was far from relaxed. My suspicions were confirmed when she tripped on the leg of a nearby table, and it was all I could do to suppress my laughter.

It seemed I was cursed to know two kinds of hunger when it came to my pretty little waitress.

After that closest of calls, I fled to Alaska to contemplate my life, in the stereotypical "brooding vampire fashion," as Alice had called it. That's what she thought, anyway, and I didn't disabuse her of the notion. Only Tanya and I knew the real reason for my trips to Denali ― they got my ego fed with a little shameless flirting. We both knew there was nothing between us; she enjoyed the game, and my ego enjoyed the stroking. All friends of a sort, I enjoyed the company of their little coven of singles in Alaska. This time, however, I knew within the first two hours I wouldn't last long up here. Nothing was going to change what had been set in motion when Bella entered my life.

This time, my thoughts were filled with the pretty brunette waitress I wanted to savor...in blood and in body. I couldn't get her out of my head, so I put my computer skills to good use, as I had no need for sleep. The summer brought longer days filled with sun to the Alaskan wilderness, and I spent much of my time inside, planning and looking sufficiently broody. It wasn't hard. The more information I gathered, the hungrier I grew, the need to see her becoming a physical ache. I couldn't deny what I'd suspected since reaching Alaska ― it was very possible that the fragile little human was my mate.

Bella ― _my_ Bella ― had not had an easy life. She had no one left; no family, and few friends. Orphaned by eighteen, she worked hard and threw herself into activity after activity, anything to keep herself busy. She was in Chicago to attend Northwestern on an academic scholarship, which pleased me immensely. Smart and beautiful...and she would be mine. However impressive her academic prowess, it could definitely pose problems if she suddenly stopped showing up for classes one day. Perhaps we would wait until she graduated?

Though my extended family was surprised at the short length of my stay ― I'd never spent less than a month when visiting, yet this time, I left Alaska after a week, promising them a more lengthy explanation later.

Foolishly, I visited the diner while I was formulating plans for our future, telling myself it was to test my resistance to her mouthwatering, control-destroying, delicious scent. She was heavenly, beautiful to my eyes and appealing to my senses in every way, and I was beginning to believe my lust for her body and mind could overpower my desire for her blood. I kept my eyes on her face as she brought me another coffee, noting her pinked cheeks and accelerated breathing, and I knew she hadn't forgotten me, either.

She watched me from across the little space as I warmed my hands with the steaming cup. If she only knew how much I wanted to stroke her skin with my newly heated fingertips... This was all so new for me..._she _was all so new. For it was on this second meeting that I discovered the most interesting thing of all about my love: her mind was closed to mine.

~v~

When she didn't show up to work the next night, I went to her apartment. I still cannot describe the feeling that squeezed my still chest as I peered through her window, finding her asleep on the couch. Blue light from the television flickered over her face, her delicate features standing out starkly in the ambient glow. I knew then that it was time to put my plan into action. _I_ wanted to be in that cozy little room, to lay with her curled against me. Soon, I'd win her.

Things would have been perfect, had my hand not been forced.

The next night Bella was scheduled at the diner, I disconnected the battery cables in her truck. My plan was to offer to help her out, reconnect the wires, and then take things from there. I'd accustom myself to reining in the bloodlust ― while still thoroughly reveling in the _actual_ lust and I was prepared to spend any length of time mastering my control. Then, I'd reveal my true nature, she'd agree to love me for eternity, I'd change her, and we'd live together happily forever.

_I have a healthy fantasy life. It's a very normal trait in those of my kind. We _do_ have a lot of time to kill. _

In the end, all my plans had been ruined by a stupid, moronic, mouth-breathing truck rat. When the simpleton stormed up to the cab of Bella's truck, screaming about some pale kid messing under her hood, I knew I had to silence him. He pissed himself as soon as I got my hands on him; one half-snarl and a flash of my eyes later, he was running off into the night, and I knew he'd never be back.

Bella was still huddled in her pitiful excuse for a vehicle when I returned to the lot, intending to go through with my original plan of fixing her truck and introducing myself. She recognized me instantly and began cranking down the ancient window as I approached. A blast of her delectable scent hit me full in the face. I wasn't anywhere near ready for it.

"Hi," she said softly, her voice pitched higher than usual. It made me want to smile, but I was still working through the intense wave of hunger her scent inspired in me. My mouth watered as I took in her hair, which fell in slick dark waves past her shoulders. Water dripped from the curling ends, landing on the cracked leather of the bench seat. _She's soaking wet! Is that what's making her smell even better?_

"What do you think you're doing, sitting out here in this..._truck_ in the middle of a thunderstorm like a sitting duck for any pervert to come along?"

"Did you just call yourself a pervert?" _God, I love her mouth...oh, Jesus...her mouth..._ _Stop it, Cullen! Just fix the wires and send her home!_

Because I was a stupid glutton for punishment, I wasted no time escorting her to my Volvo and making sure she was safely placed inside before I went back to repair my sabotage. It was over quickly, and I had to wait a bit with the hood up just to make it seem realistic to her human eyes. I spent my time waffling on how far I should try to take things tonight before I sent her back to her cozy little apartment, to hopefully dream of me.

I needed to feel her lips under mine.

All plans went to hell when I reached the safety of the car. Bella had turned up the heat, as we were both soaking wet and she was likely cold from the early summer thunderstorm. The moist warmth only intensified her scent. I no longer just needed her mouth under mine, I needed _all _of her. I needed to feel her wrapped around me, hot and tight, and most of all ― scariest of all ― I needed to taste her blood on my tongue as much as I wanted to taste her skin.

I realized I was eying Bella like a starving man would stare at a gourmet feast and struggled to break the silence before I did something we'd both regret. Unfortunately, my chosen tactic was to scold her for turning up the heat in the Volvo, but it wasn't her fault that she smelled so delicious to me that I wanted to eat her in _every_ way I could imagine. _How's it possible she smells better and better each time I see her? _The warmth in the car put a flush in her cheeks that was ridiculously appealing to me, and I was having enough of a time controlling my baser instincts to begin with. To get myself in check, I tried to formulate a new plan, all the while almost vibrating with the need to snatch her body close to mine.

The brave girl was interrogating me, on a mission to find out my name, and I couldn't help but admire her bluntness. Vampires were forever beating around the bush. They had infinite time, egos to match, and would never think of simply getting to the point. Bella's openness was a refreshing change, and it was another reason I couldn't resist her. I found myself leaning closer, and had to forcibly make my body back away from her side of the car. A momentary panic seized me when I realized I couldn't get any farther away from her.

"Hey, it's okay, you know," she said, her voice soft and melodic and lovely to my ears.

"What's okay?" _Is she trying to comfort me? She's the one in mortal danger, and she's trying to make _me_ feel better._

"I know what you are," she whispered, and I wouldn't have heard it if I had human senses. Her words terrified me, but only because I was afraid I'd be rejected, our future yet another casualty of my nature.

_Say it... Say it, out loud._

"You do?" I prompted, and if I was human, my voice would have cracked. This was it. The beginning or the end.

"You're claustrophobic. It's okay, you know. If you have trouble controlling it."

I laughed, feeling relief and genuine amusement in equal amounts. But as for the control? _Oh, Bella...controlling it is not without difficulty._ Facing forward, I said, "You have no idea."

"Do you need to...I don't know, breathe through it, or something?"

"I am," I said, scrambling to think of some kind of excuse for my sporadic breaths. "My doctor recommends infrequent, shallow breaths to get through this sort of thing. It's new." _Trust me...you _really_ don't want me taking deep breaths right now._

"Oh. Are you sure you're going to be okay? Should I call someone?"

"No, no." _No need for witnesses in case things go wrong_.

"No, what? And you still haven't told me your name. You know mine. You have to tell me ― you saved me from being some serial killer's latest victim."

I went along with it. Lying to her bothered me, but not as much as it should have. Ultimately, I was weak and selfish. I gave in to temptation. I saw an opportunity, and I pounced. Fuck virtue...Bella would accept me...I knew it. My perfection was so close, and I couldn't wait to taste her.

When she asked me if her vehicle was fixed, I lied. I told her I was terribly sorry, but it had been more than my rudimentary knowledge of ancient cars could handle. I would, of course, be happy to drive her home.

The point of no return had passed, and I wasn't used to working without a solid plan. Things had never been more dangerous ― for Bella, or for me.

~v~

Now, I watch her still body, looking with my heightened senses for any sign of life. I see a minute rise of her chest, but it must be my mind playing tricks. After all, I can't hear her heartbeat. Slowly, I pad across the room, stopping at the foot of the bed and gazing at her prone form. Even this pale and lifeless, she's still beautiful. She could pass for sleeping, were it not for the gruesome bites marring her breast and neck and the unnatural stillness of her body.

_I did that to her. _

I force myself to look, cementing the vision into my brain as punishment. Unwilling as my observations are, I notice the bites look better than they had immediately after, when I'd tried to seal her wounds with my venom. Now, they're puffy, jagged crescents tearing the smooth silk of her pale skin, angry red and obvious in their violence.

One bite was enough to bind her to me for eternity, but once I tasted her, felt her blood pouring over my tongue... I was so close to her heart ― _feeling_ it pumping the most amazing thing I'd ever tasted into my mouth ― and I couldn't stop. While flying on the high of orgasm and the incredibly sweet, amazing taste of her blood, my brain had been dangerously neglectful of the passing time. And when I finally managed to rein in my bloodlust ― which had become nearly indistinguishable from the carnal lust I felt for Bella ― it was too late. She was too still, unmoving beneath me, her head lolling to the side to plainly reveal the gruesome evidence of my appetite. I wasn't even aware of biting her more than once, and that alone told me I'd placed too much confidence in my own self-control.

I should have waited, given myself more time to become accustomed to her scent, more time to increase my tolerance. We should have had more time to get to know one another, to let her feelings for me develop, as I'd intended in my original plan. I've been brooding about her ever since our paths first crossed, but I had no idea if Bella was nurturing any feelings for me, especially after I was so cold to her.

I'm over a century old, yet I stupidly let one insignificant human derail all my carefully laid plans in an instant. Impatient and tired of being alone, I rushed into an outrageous lie, using it ― and Bella ― to my advantage. It's _my_ fatal mistake, but one that ultimately meant Bella's death, one way or another.

It didn't turn out like I hoped.

I thought I knew what devastation meant. It wasn't until I raised my lips from her throat and gathered her limp body into my arms, believing she would start to thrash with the pain at any moment, that I truly grasped the scope of the word.

Bella's moment came, but it was over too quickly. She died in my arms, writhing in agony and begging me to kill her, and now I'm left with an eternity of regret.

~v~

Selfish bastard that I am, I couldn't turn down her invitation to join her in her small, cozy apartment.

Some deeply-buried human intuition told me not to follow her into the kitchen, but again, I let impatience rule my actions. I wasn't human, but I still had the faults of one. As a vampire, I had eternity to win her, but I was anxious and greedy for her time. Over a century without her was long enough, and I didn't want to waste a minute more. The primal side of me, the one that wanted to drain her dry, insisted that it was over the moment I smelled her blood without the barrier of silky skin to dilute it. The vampire and the man argued over who would make the choice, but it didn't matter ― we were one and the same, and we wanted Bella. Both would get a taste of what they wanted if all went well.

I kissed her injured hand, rubbing my lips over the knuckles before taking her thumb into my mouth. The metallic heat and electric tingle that was her blood coated my tongue, her flavor bursting throughout my body in a torrent of warmth. She brought back every single sensory human memory I'd ever had ― all the smells and scents of human food. The heavenly smell of roasting turkey on Thanksgiving morning. Intoxicatingly sweet snow ice cream that was a rare treat during the cold Chicago winters. Her taste was all that and more, because this was Bella, and she would be my _mate_. Hers was also the first human blood I'd sampled in decades, and it sent me reeling. I wanted to drink and drink until it was gone. That alone was enough to make me stop, and I had to literally force myself to pull away.

Having tasted her, I knew I could never go back. I was rock hard in my jeans, and my lips tingled from not only her blood, but with the desire to feel her mouth against mine, to know what her tongue and lips tasted like. To know how she tasted lower, at the slick lips of her pussy.

Her eyes were deep brown, warmed with slivers of chestnut and gold, her gaze so soft and curious. I wanted, more than anything, to see them glow crimson with the evidence of her change. Selfish, that's what it was. How could I do this to her, when I'd believed for decades that I'd been changed too early?

"How old are you?" The question was only to appease myself. I knew she was too young. There was so much I'd be taking from her, just so I could put an end to my solitude.

"Old enough." Her sass was showing, and it made her irresistible. "Nineteen. How old are you?"

_Bella, you wouldn't believe me if I told you._

I smirked, mimicking her words. "Old enough." _How's one hundred and eleven ― is that old enough? _She watched me as if she literally couldn't see anything else. Like I was the only thing in the world. I wondered if her eyes were a mirror of mine. My mate was within inches of my grasp, and I didn't have the will to back away, to be cautious and methodical.

"Bella, tell me you know what you're doing. Tell me you know what's happening here, please."

She didn't even hesitate. "I know what I'm doing." _Please, Bella...understand me. This is very, _very_...permanent_.

"Promise?" To bring home my point, I brought her thumb to my mouth for just one more taste, and I knew it hurt her when I reopened the wound with my fingers, though this pain was nothing compared to what would come later. But first, I'd make her feel _so_ good...there was no way she'd be able to forget about me, about _us _and about the way we could make each other feel. I couldn't wait until she woke up, infused with immense newborn strength and a strong thirst. I would teach her how to hunt, how to ease the burn in her throat, and then I would ask her to be mine, forever.

Bella surprised me, by first pulling her hand away, and then she shocked me even more. "Kiss me." She grabbed at my jaw with one hand and clamped the other at my side, surging upward against my chest, her lips landing awkwardly on mine. She melted into me in the sweetest, softest way, her mouth hot and silky smooth.

Having her so close, her body nearly wrapped around me, was almost too much. Before I even finished the thought, I had her sitting on the counter next to the sink, standing between her parted knees. It wasn't close enough for her, apparently, and she tugged herself to the edge of the counter, using her grip on me as leverage.

She was so,_ so_ warm...I wanted to feel more of her. "Raise your arms for me?" I whispered, dragging my lips and nose across her cheek. I groaned when she complied, looking down shyly while raising her hands high above her head. Both my hands went to her hips, fingers spread wide so I could feel every bit of her, and I slid them up underneath her shirt. I traced her ribs and higher, skimming the sides of her breasts and dragging the cotton with me. Her soft gasp at the brief contact made me smile, and I finished removing her shirt quickly. Once her brown eyes appeared again, her shirt tossed away, she caught my grin and did the same for me before wrapping her arms around my waist. She was pressing all of that soft, fragrant skin against my much harder frame, and I'd never felt anything so amazing. I could never live without this now, having tasted it. Her lips landed on my chest, skimming over my collarbones, leaving prickling trails of fire.

"I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore."

Her response was so soft I might not have heard her if I'd been a human man. "Then...don't."

I was riding the edge, fighting back the bloodlust while reeling at my first sexual experience with anyone other than my hand. I thought I was familiar with sex...after all, it's _all_ humans think about most of the time, but nothing could have prepared me for the intensity of _feeling_ it with Bella.

Kissing her way up my neck, she nipped at the skin just below my jaw. Though I knew she had no idea what play like that would do to a vampire male _―_ hell, even _I_ hadn't known what it would do, but suddenly, I'd do anything to get inside her, to feel her hot and wet and tight around my cock. I wanted to feel her bite harder, to feel the sting of sharper teeth against my skin.

I also knew she had no real idea of what I was asking her, and I told her so. My Bella was stubborn, however, which was one of the many things I admired in her. She attacked my lips, making it impossible to keep speaking, and I was done fighting it.

_I'm taking what's mine._

Her lips parted and I responded in kind, a little breath escaping me at the tingling I felt when I held my face close to hers, barely grazing her mouth with mine. She tasted so good as I pushed her head back against the cabinet and my tongue into her mouth, the kiss hot and wet and better than I'd even imagined. Her response was more than I could have dreamed of, and I knew I'd never tire of this, of her. But when her hand slid around my side, playing at the waistband of my jeans, I couldn't keep kissing her while she touched me like that. My head thumped against the cabinets as I concentrated on not sinking my teeth into her neck, breathing hard against her shoulder as she firmly rubbed her palm over my cock.

The heat of her hand, even through the stiff denim, was pure bliss. Unable to resist, I let my mouth rest on her shoulder as she moved her hand up and down, so slowly, her warm palm stroking the entire length of my erection.

_Danger, Cullen! One graze of your teeth and it begins right now..._

I had to do something to distract myself, so I began counting Prime numbers against her skin, dropping soft kisses along the slope of her shoulder. The lace strap of her bra was in my way, and I wondered what she'd do if I were to remove it...with my teeth. She sucked in a sharp breath, bending her head to rest her lips in my hair, and it was done, satisfying my need to bite...for the moment. Kissing my way across her chest, I bit at the other strap, and she didn't seem to care how it had happened, only that the restricting lace was falling away. I rubbed my face over her, letting my cheeks and nose drag across her chest, and then snapped at the flimsy connection between the two cups covering her breasts. I was taking deep breaths, becoming drunk on the scent of her, the heat of her, immersing myself in her very human softness.

My eyes were glued to breasts that I knew would fit perfectly in my hands, her pretty, pink nipples furled tight and waiting for my mouth. Taking a quick inventory of myself, I found that my bloodlust had taken a backseat to the raging lust of my seventeen-year-old physiology. Tentatively, I allowed myself to rest my hands at her hips before abruptly tugging her toward me. Startled, she jerked her hand away from my cock and gripped my bicep as I dipped my head again, trailing my lips over the swell of her breast. I languidly swiped my tongue over the peak, letting my cool breath wash in its wake, reveling in her soft moan. Feeling bold, I took her nipple into my mouth, covering my teeth with my lips and sucking hard.

Bella's legs clamped around my waist, and her heels dug into the backs of my thighs as I teased her, her wandering hand suddenly pulling at my hair. Rough little tugs urged me on, and I loved the sweet sting of her careless fingers, letting her know with appreciative noises that corresponded with the rhythm of her deep breaths. I let my hands wander up, over the delicate curve of her waist, my fingers nearly shaking with excitement. Eager to taste more of her, I kissed my way up over her soft, warm skin, licking over the pulse in her neck and nearly exploding with the need to taste what flowed so closely under my lips.

"Will you let me take you to bed?" I asked before I even knew I'd made the decision, locking my hands around her waist at her whispered assent and running for her bedroom, not bothering with human speed. I was done hiding from her. Let her make of it what she would.

_If she even notices_. _Not likely, judging by the way she's pressing that hot little pussy against me..._

And...the horny adolescent is back. I had her lying in the middle of the bed, her legs wrapped around my hips, and the only thing wrong with the picture was that she was _half_ naked. Watching her from underneath lowered lids, I propped myself on one elbow and slid my other hand down her belly, where her skin was as soft as anything I'd ever felt. My fingertips feathered lightly back and forth just above the button of her jeans, making me wish I could do the same with my mouth.

Later. I would have eternity to learn every inch of her with my tongue.

Releasing the top button and lowering the zipper, she smiled when I pushed my hands into her jeans, sliding my palms down the sides of her thighs, leaving her in only her white cotton underwear. Though she was beautiful in her comfortable, innocent lingerie, I knew one day, I'd see her in delicate lace and racy leather. My cock literally ached at the thought of her dressed up for me, and I was lost in fantasies of her while I slowly removed her clothes. She watched me with hungry eyes, those lips still smiling, and I had to remind myself to stay in check.

I wondered what my eyes looked like. No matter how much I wanted to fuck her, the ache of hunger was still there, a burn in my throat and a subtle itch behind my teeth. The more aroused I became, the more my venom flowed freely, my mouth literally watering at the scent of her.

Her smile became all out laughter when I tried to yank her jeans all the way off, and I cursed when I realized I'd forgotten to remove her shoes. I had to be especially careful with my strength when I untied the worn, navy-blue sneakers, because I really wanted to slit the laces with the flick of a fingernail and be done with it. I did possess enough wits to realize she probably wouldn't appreciate me ruining her things. After removing her bothersome clothing, I looked up, thoroughly enjoying the way her soft skin blushed, heated with the sweet-scented blood I couldn't wait to taste and the warmth I couldn't wait to feel against all of me.

I knew a little about what turned women on ― and I never thought I'd be this grateful to have been subjected to all those thoughts women had about me. But I'd be damned if I wasn't really fucking excited to do every one of those things with Bella. I crawled over her on all fours, stopping to place a kiss right below her navel, giving in and licking the spot, and it was just as soft as I'd imagined. She gasped, a short, ragged intake of breath, and I smiled up at her in between kissing my way up her body until I was eye-level and settled against her hips. One hand remained behind, the backs of my fingers running over the damp cotton between her legs, and I propped myself up with the other, threading my fingers through her hair.

Her little hands went to work on my jeans determinedly, the soft brush of her knuckles against my dick nothing short of heaven. That is, until she pushed my jeans straight off my hips, releasing me to lay heavily against her abdomen. I moaned, my mouth going dry as I toed off my shoes and socks and dropped my head to her neck. She was using her feet to tug my pants off, her legs sliding along mine as she dragged her toes down my calves.

The fabric covering her pussy grew wetter, clinging to her soft lips, and I could feel her swollen clit through the sheer material. Her hips bucked against my hand as I smiled, licking my way up her hot skin, loving the taste of salt and female. _There _is_ one piece of clothing I don't think she'd mind if I ruin..._

With one sharp tug, the flimsy material shredded under my fingers. "Ooops," I laughed, covering her mouth with mine, licking at her tongue and lips as I ran my fingers through the wetness between her thighs. When I couldn't wait any longer, I pushed two fingers into her, bucking my hips into hers at the same time.

"Holy shit," she gasped, squeezing her eyes shut and arching her back underneath me. Fucking beautiful, that's what she was. My thumb found her clit and began a counter-rhythm as she grew hotter and wetter around my hand, and I knew if I just kept this up, she'd come all over my fingers.

I couldn't wait.

"Is that it?" I asked, sharing her breath. "Does that feel good?" I could only hope her moan was a yes, because it felt too good to stop. The fact that we were both naked was at the forefront of my brain; I had my fingers in her pussy, and all I had to do was pull my hand away and I'd be inside her.

I had to make her come first ― there was no way in hell I'd last long once I finally got there. Between the burn in my throat and the way my teeth almost ached as well as my cock, I didn't know if I'd be able to keep from biting her.

I _would _be able to stop. I _had_ to stop. Take just enough to make her like me.

_Just a taste._

"Are you close?" I whispered, concentrating on keeping my fingers moving steadily as she tightened even more, her thighs clamping onto my hips and her fingers linking behind my neck.

She opened her mouth beneath mine. "Yes...right there." Her eyes were clamped shut and her head lay heavily against my other hand. I was reminded of how fragile she was to one such as me, yet amazed at how truly easy it was to hold her in my arms without hurting her. As much pleasure as she drew from my touch, I felt double; and when I finally got inside her, I knew it would be like nothing I'd ever imagined or seen in any daydream.

Then she was shaking, coming around my fingers, my name falling from her lips. I couldn't help the satisfied smile I wore. Those sighs and moans were all because of me...and now it was my turn.

"I want you so much," I told her, kissing across her cheek to nuzzle in her soft, fragrant hair. My hand slipped from between her legs to join the other in her hair, and her scent was all over me. I wanted it all over me forever. I wanted others to smell us on each other, so they'd know we belonged together. Venom pooled in my mouth as I thought of tasting her on my fingers, but it was best not to tempt the bloodlust any farther.

"You have me," she answered softly, wrapping her calves around my thighs. It was so easy, so natural. All I had to do was sink forward; the way we moved together was thrilling, in spite of my inexperience, further convincing me that what we were doing was the right thing. We were made for each other. Her pussy was hot and wet, enveloping me in scalding human heat...and her _heartbeat...fuck!_

My eyes rolled back in my head, and I had to tense every muscle in my body so I wouldn't fall all over her like some wild animal. I could feel the way she pulsed around my cock, the feeling so overwhelming that I shook above her. Her hands moved to clutch at my shoulders as I began to move, faster, deeper, harder, making her sigh in pleasure. Her nipples brushed against my chest with every lunge, and I couldn't resist raising myself up so I could see the way her breasts bounced when I thrust into her.

"Edward, oh...Edward..." _God, I'm good at this...it pays to be studious._

And I knew then, that's where I wanted to see my mark. Right above her heart. I could see it in my head ― I could almost feel her heart beating against my tongue and around my cock as I tasted her, knowing soon I would have her forever. Soon, she'd gaze at me with the ruby eyes of a newborn. I lowered my lips to the left side of her chest, pressing a reverent kiss above her heart. My balls tightened and I felt unbearable pleasure coil at the base of my spine as I exploded into her, her name on my lips. Then I gave her another, more dangerous kiss, my teeth cutting into the soft flesh at the swell of her breast. I was lost at the wash of her blood on my tongue, every swallow pulsing with the pleasure of my release.

I drank her down, reveling in the burn she sparked all the way to the pit of my stomach. The more I took, the more intense my orgasm became, until I was clutching her almost limp form against me to hold her still for my erratic but slowing thrusts.

When I heard her start to moan in pain, I realized I had taken far more than I intended. The last thing Bella said to me was "No...stop! It hurts...make it stop." Her lips were cold and bluish, her pallor rivaling mine, accentuating the violent splashes of red at her chest and neck. She shook against my body with surprising strength, and I thought perhaps things would be okay after all.

"Bella, shhh...you'll be fine. I'll help you, love, I promise."

~v~

I blink, the memory fades, and I'm left here to think about my empty promise. Without realizing it, I'd moved to stand over her, and it was only an easy hop to crouch on the bed next to her prone form. Millions of thoughts race through my head, including the fleeting thought of tipping off the human police to see what they'd make of her. _No!_ _There are other ways to get myself noticed by those who policed my kind; ways more respectful to Bella._

In the meantime, how in the hell am I supposed to wait here for _hours_ for Carlisle to come and help me dispose of her body? Funny...was it only earlier tonight that I thought the worst wait I'd have would be the three days of her transformation? At least then I would have had the joy of seeing her eyes open again. My chest aches, and suddenly I can see them, ruby red and warm and huge in her pale face. I drop to my knees on the mattress, and my eyes lock onto the jagged marks at her neck. Lower still, I take in the perfect imprint of my teeth on the swell of her breast. Nausea churns in my stomach, and I think maybe that's what will help get rid of all of this..._feeling_. The need to purge myself of the liquid evidence of my sins is overwhelming, but I am equally appalled by the notion ― if I give up her blood, then I truly _will_ have nothing left of her.

I trace one finger along the torn skin, and it feels smoother, less jagged. As I look closer, I can see the lamplight reflecting off the sealed edges...and it's a prism of hope. _She's healing! _

This time, when I examine her, all the signs are there: her pulse beats faintly, and I no longer feel hunger when I see it pulsing under her jaw; I feel relief and joy. Her respiration is shallow and too slow, but it's there.

_Is it possible...I succeeded?_

As if in answer to my question, my phone buzzes somewhere in the living room. The phone is buried halfway under her couch, and I manage to snap it up just before the last vibration.

_"Told you."_

"Oh, fuck you, Alice!" The little nuisance will never let me live this down.

_"Melodromatic queen,"_ she mutters, and I can just picture her rolling her eyes. _"Emmett says to tell you ― and I quote ― he's 'surprised your mate's not a dude.'_"'

Still broadcasting my business to the rest of the family, I see," I snap, rubbing my forehead in exasperation. "I wouldn't be making such comments if I were Emmett. I'm not the one who had a male Singer." At this, I hear Emmett yelling on her end of the line, vehemently insisting that there was nothing sexual about "eating that dude back in the sixties."

_"Well, since no one else will do it ― meaning YOU ― I'm the only one who can. You never tell us _anything, _Edward."_

"Sorry, Alice. I know the concept of privacy is a foreign one," I mutter, stalking back to the bedroom, where Bella still hasn't moved or even made a noise. But when I look closely, the slight rise and fall of her chest is still there. _It's not just my eyes playing tricks!_ "Alice, have you ever heard of anyone being completely quiet through the transformation?"

"_Anything's possible, I guess. That question is probably better suited for Carlisle. You'll have to wait for him to arrive tomorrow afternoon."_ She sounds so self-assured, her voice high and confident. It's still annoying but no longer so grating.

_Bella is going to make it...my mate will live._

_"Edward!" _I wince at her tone, and it's obvious Alice is a little pissed at losing my attention. _"Stop brooding and listen up. If I were you, I'd start preparing yourself."_

"For what? She's going to be okay, right?" It's impossible to keep the fear out of my voice.

_"Oh, she's going to be fine...it's _you_ I'm worried about. She's going to be royally pissed at you for lying to her. And with newborn strength on her side? You're lucky Carlisle will be there to help you."_ She laughs evilly, and I'm surprised to find the sound gives me chills. Anticipation begins to build in my gut, and I realize I'm looking forward to sparring with Bella. "_You've got an uphill battle ahead, Brother dear, but it will be worth it. Trust me."_

Shell-shocked, I absently end the connection. On one hand, I know never to bet against Alice, yet... You can't trust vampires.

Trust me.

* * *

Note: Title comes from the Oasis song, "Falling Down." Copyright 2009 Oasis Music.  
_  
We live a dying dream  
If you know what I mean  
All that I've ever known  
It's all that I've ever known_

**So, there you have it. Sorry it's not an update for Work in Progress, but look for one in the next 24 hours, I promise.**

**Thanks for reading, and let me know what you thought of melodramatic queen Edward. ;)**


	2. The Hermit

_I don't own Twilight. Characters and certain canon phrases below belong to SMeyer. The rest is mine, including any errors._

_I actually wrote most of this before I started on Edward's point of view, but I decided I wanted to tell his side of the story first, and this one was shelved. I finished and polished it up for you, so enjoy.  
_

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* * *

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**-The Hermit-**

Two more hours...only one hundred and twenty minutes until I could go home and pass out ― preferably for at least the next twelve hours. My boss was a complete dick, and had no sympathy for the extra demands finals added to my schedule. As for sleep, I'd been living on three hours a night for almost a week now. Between studying, commuting to school, actually taking the exams, and work, I was spread extremely thin. Then again, that was exactly the way I liked it, actually.

_You can do this. Just two more hours. _

Though I was tired as hell, I really never considered quitting. I had more than enough money to attend Northwestern, but I still _needed_ this job. When one was alone, there was a lot of lonely time to kill. I'd been alone for about a year now, but it still wasn't getting much easier. What was left of my world had dropped out from underneath me the day my parents went out for dinner and never came back. So for now, I worked. I had the time, and hopefully, the loneliness wouldn't last forever.

The old, annoying clock ticked away the seconds as I sat at the counter in the empty diner, waiting for Jessica to come and relieve me at eleven. I hoped she'd let me get out of here without a marathon small-talk session tonight. I liked Jess just fine, but she was a bit of a Chatty Cathy.

I stifled a yawn, wishing I didn't feel like a middle-aged crone stuffed inside the body of a nineteen-year-old. To pass the slowly moving minutes, I tried to focus on studying a particularly difficult chapter for Organic chemistry, my last final of the semester. I fought with my eyelids, attempting to review the limitations of SN reactions, but I knew my battle against sleep was a losing one. I was about to drift off when the door opened with a clang of old bells. Startled, I immediately looked up to greet the customer, trying not to look guilty of sleeping on the job. What I saw nearly made me fall off the stool. I met the dark eyes of a stranger as he strode in confidently, on a current of cool wind that brought traces of the most appealing scent I'd _ever_ smelled before.

_This must be what angels smell like._

But this man was no angel...I could tell by his eyes. Dark brows slanted over eyes that burned right through me, with intense irises that looked like dark, smoky topaz. His hair was dark, burnished with red, and dripping with rain. I wanted to slick my hands through it, to grab on and tug, while I licked rainwater off his lips.

Unfortunately, he didn't seem to harbor the same interest in me. His eyes flicked away dismissively as he sat himself in the corner booth. I actually licked my lips as I watched him walk away, and I wanted to be appalled at myself. I had to admit, the view was very nice, even if the owner of said view was apparently an asshole.

"Please, seat yourself," I said under my breath. I took a deep breath, which did little to boost my confidence, but I still slid off the stool and went to take his order, grabbing a menu on the way. I also made sure to grab an extra for a shield, unsure why I felt I needed one. Long seconds passed after I tiptoed up to his side, but he ignored me, flipping through something on his phone faster than I'd ever seen. Finally, his eyes snapped up to mine, and his look shocked me. Those smoky topaz eyes were darker, filled with resentment and malice. His nostrils flared, his chest rose once, and then his scowl grew darker, like he was being forced to do something really distasteful.

"Can I help you?" he asked stiffly. His glare made me want to shrink back in fear, but for some moronic reason, I also wanted to provoke him. _Oh, boy...this man is trouble. Trouble._

"I think that's supposed to be my line," I said with a brittle but hopeful smile. I thrust the tattered plastic menu in his direction, trying to brazen through without earning any more of his glares. "My name's Bella, and I'll be taking care of you tonight. I'd recommend some specials, but with Mikey cooking, you're probably safer with coffee or soda." I was even stupid enough to add a conspiratorial wink, which he didn't return.

He just fixed me with that stony gaze, his body _so_ still..._ How does he _do_ that? _

His eyes looked sick, tired, with light purple smudges above his cheekbones_. _I couldn't tell how old he was, but I guessed he was somewhere around my age. He watched me, unmoving, and unease prickled the back of my neck at his attention, which was reminiscent of the way a cat would stare at a mouse...just before it pounced. We both stood there, frozen, until I noticed he was leaning slightly away from me. Briefly, I wondered if I was breaking the sacred rule to never invade the customer's bubble. I decided taking a small step back couldn't hurt.

"Coffee, please. Black," he said, his jaw clenched so hard I was afraid he might crush his own teeth. It was then I noticed the way his white-knuckled fists were placed so carefully on the table in front of him, like he was afraid of what might happen if he let himself move. For a split-second, his nose wrinkled and his nostrils flared, like he smelled something strong and wasn't sure he liked it. In that moment, he looked like he either wanted to curse my existence or rip all my clothes off. All I could do was just stand there like a stupid, timid little bird. 

_Please, rip the clothes off. I don't need them._

"C-coffee, black. Coming r-right up!" I stuttered, backing away. 

_Jesus Christ! 'Coming right up,' Bella? You suck_._ You don't work at Mel's Diner, you're certainly not Alice, Jess isn't Flo, and you're definitely not in Phoenix. It gets way too damn cold here in the winter._

In a hurry to escape those black holes he called eyes, I tripped over a nearby chair leg in the process, but caught myself before I could knock out any teeth. I was surprised I managed to get away with nothing injured but my pride, and I smiled to myself as I set about retrieving coffee for the mystery man. He ignored me as I returned with the hot mug and placed it on the table.

Quiet and defeated, I returned back to my post, where I tried not to stare at him for the remainder of the night. I failed spectacularly.

o-o-o

Seven days later, that same tinkle of bells heralded the arrival I'd been watching for all week. To my eternal despair, I had only ten minutes before I was scheduled to clock out for the night. I pretended not to notice him as he came through the door, bringing with him chilly, swirling eddies of misty rain and the scent I'd pay thousands of dollars for if it was bottled and sold. From under my lashes, I watched as he took his usual seat, my greedy eyes eager to see if he lived up to my much-relived memories.

First, he pinned me with a hateful, icy glare that really should have deterred any budding crush where he was concerned, and then he proceeded to ignore me, just as he had last time. Pulling out an old-fashioned, leather-bound journal of some sort, his fingers flew through the pages, and I found myself nearly hypnotized by the soft scratch of papers sliding over one another. I watched as he skimmed to a blank page and began writing, all intense and focused. The soft scratch of his pen reached my ears, and I could feel it as if he'd dragged his fingertips over the nape of my neck. I'd never had such a reaction to anything before, and it scared the hell out of me.

_What am I supposed to be doing? Oh, right...menu for Emo, Party of One._

When I had the chance to get close, I noticed the buttery-soft leather and thick, cotton paper that absorbed the rich black ink perfectly, displaying his almost calligraphy-style script. Something about that struck me as strange, but I dismissed it as a random worry that no straight man could have penmanship that pretty.

Because if I wanted anything in this world, I really wanted this man to be straighter than an arrow ― or at least bisexual. _Oh, please, Lord...just give me one shot_. _It would be a tragedy to women everywhere if this guy likes the cock exclusively._

Right. Like I'd have a chance with this one, with his mop of bright, brazen hair that glowed with red streaks, strands the color of a brand new penny woven with every hue from caramel to coffee. It stood on end in disarray that only made me want to muss it even more, the shade setting off his pale, pale skin like nothing had a right to. Just the sight of him made me stammer, sweat, and want to run screaming in fright all at once. I'd never been attracted to the bad-boy type, but something about this one called to me in all the right ― or was it wrong? ― ways.

I didn't even know his name, and his demeanor never defrosted above lukewarm except for his short, resentful glances. Those were full of fire. I had no idea what that meant, but some long-buried instinct insisted he was just as drawn to me as I was to him, though he'd never addressed me with anything nicer than icy politeness.

In my mind, I'd decided he was a hermit, a tortured soul, just waiting for a good woman like me to help heal his wounds. Right.

I shook my head as I took my notepad over to his booth. He was waiting for me, his eyes not averted as they had been before.

They were pitch-black.

"Did you get contacts?" I blurted, immediately blushing at my invasive question. _Well, there's no doubt he knows how closely I've been watching him now... _"I could have sworn they were amber...but they're so...black," I kept babbling, unable to stop the flow of drivel once it had started.

"Maybe it's time to replace the lightbulbs," he said curtly, focusing on his book and scribbling away. "Must be the fluorescent light. Makes everyone look like the walking dead." A tight, tiny smirk flirted with one corner of his mouth, and I had to fight the urge to lick my lips and whimper. I couldn't take much more of this...whatever _it_ was.

Was he joking? God, I think I liked it. Shivers ran right through me, shaking my heart against my ribs, and I prayed I showed no outward sign of distress. Managing a quick smile, I nodded dumbly as I tried to calm my racing heart. More than half of me suspected he wasn't joking.

"Coffee, right?" I asked, unable to tear my eyes from his.

"Yes," he answered, and his tone was grave, like this was the most serious matter in the world. "Do you usually remember customers' orders?" A brow arched as he looked at me cockily, and I was once again thrown by his mercurial shift in mood.

"No, just yours," I said, trying to sound bored as I pivoted to go and get his coffee. _There_. _Smirk at that_.

He had nothing to say as I delivered his drink and resumed my perch on the stool to wait until Jess came in to take over. Of course, I couldn't ignore him, though I was pretty sure he was aware of my not-so-covert observations.

Before long, Jess came barreling through the back, knotting her apron as she went. "Hey, Bells! Looks like another hopping night, huh?" she snorted, adjusting her curly ponytail with an obvious glance at our nightly visitor. "He's back?" she hissed, her eyebrows rising halfway up her forehead as she hooked a thumb over her shoulder. "Someone's got an admirer."

"Shut it, Jess. The man hates me. Half the time, he looks at me like I'm something he wants to eat or rip limb from limb. The other half, he looks all tormented and tortured and I just want to lick him―" I abruptly cut myself off when I realized the volume of my voice. When I chanced a look in his direction, he was watching with a puzzled look on his face, and I could have sworn he was amused. Spooked, I turned back to Jessica, turning over the nightly duties to her with relief.

His eyes followed me as I passed the window in front of his booth as I walked to my truck. And then I completely surprised myself. Whether it was lack of sleep, elation over the end of the term, or just sheer exhaustion, I didn't know, but I tossed him a flirtatious smile as I passed.

I was too chicken to see if he smiled back.

o-o-o

Two days later, I was back at the diner, packing up my things as Jess got ready for her shift.

"Where's your guy?" she asked, trying to seem casual, but she always had been pretty transparent. "He was here on your days off...looked pretty bummed that you weren't around."

Well, he wasn't here tonight, and I was more disappointed than I let on. "He's not my _guy,_ Jess. I don't even know his name," I protested, slinging the strap of my backpack over one shoulder and heading for the door.

"All I'm saying is he sure looked like he was missing _someone_, and it wasn't me, if you know what I mean. Dude wouldn't even _eat_ anything ― not a burger, or any of my pie."

I laughed loudly. "Jess, please tell me you didn't offer him your_ pie_." I didn't know if I was pissed or impressed at her apparent balls of steel.

"Hey, can you blame me? He's hot...but he shut me down really fast. Like he was offended or something, you know?" She leaned closer, giving me a concerned look. "He was almost..._scary_, Bella."

I snorted, earning a dark frown as I pushed open the door to the chilly wet outside. "Don't worry, Jess. It's never going to happen," I called. "For me, anyway. You're free to keep trying." I had no idea if she heard me or not, as the rain was currently pouring in true Midwestern storm fashion, forcing me to try to run to my truck as thunder and lightning crashed around me.

In true horror-movie victim style, I made it to the truck without incident, hopping into the dry cab with a sigh of relief. But when I shoved the key into the temperamental ignition and twisted, there was nothing. The rain pounded on the steel roof of my ancient behemoth, and though I listened hard, it drowned out any sounds that might give me a clue as to what the problem was.

A sharp rap on the window startled the shit out of me, and I jumped so high I almost hit my head on the roof of the cab. A bearded, rough-looking guy with a trucker hat had his face pressed to the glass as he motioned for me to roll the window down. Something about the situation raised my intuition ― instincts, Spidey-senses, whatever you wanted to call them ― and I really didn't want to open the door to this guy. He rapped on the window again, scowling at me when I wouldn't do what he wanted. I saw him reaching for my door handle, and I locked the door as fast as I could.

He roared something I couldn't hear over the thunder and rain, which was growing more intense by the moment.

"Fuck..." he was yelling, as lightning struck somewhere nearby. "...Under your hood!"

_What was that? 'Under my hood?' Is that some sort of horrible euphemism for rape? _He started running around the front fender, and it only took a second for it to register that he was heading for my unlocked passenger door ― and I wasn't going to make it this time.

My heart raced as I tried to remember every self-defense tip Charlie had ever given me. I wanted to cry when I thought of how disappointed he would have been that I couldn't even remember enough to save my sorry life in an emergency. Just as I heard the rattle of the old door handle, the man's shadow was suddenly ripped away, and it was as if he'd never been there. I waited a moment, and then slapped the other door locked as well. Skittishly, I peered through the rain-smeared window, finding myself looking into eyes that were black as night and practically glowed in the midst of an angry, accusing scowl.

_My Hermit!_ _He saved me...and he's frowning?_

I cranked the old window down and the rain came streaming in, but as I slowly revealed him in clear view, it didn't matter. My heart sped even faster as I took him in; from the rain-darkened hair that fell into those hypnotic eyes, down the slightly crooked line of his nose, and his lips ― God, his lips ― he was beautiful. His face was all sharp angles and smooth planes, with details like thick, low brows and deep-set eyes that made him look so serious, and very capable.

"Hi," I managed, trying not to squeak.

"What do you think you're doing, sitting out here in this..._truck_―" and oh, his lips were pretty, even twisted with disdain as he described my vehicle "―in the middle of a thunderstorm, just a sitting duck for any pervert to come along and do what he wants with you?"

"Did you just call yourself a pervert?" _Why am I joking? I almost got bagged by some criminal, and I'm joking. In front of the best-looking guy I've ever met. _

"Very funny." Oh, he did the stern face so well...

"I think my battery is dead or something. I was going to call AAA, but then that really scary guy showed up." I suppressed a shiver at my words, and swear to God, he growled. Normal guys didn't growl, did they? It must have been some very far away thunder...

"Don't worry about him, Bella. He's not coming back," he said darkly as he fixed me with a look that could have singed off my eyebrows. _Whoa...he is not amused._ Silently, he opened my door and grabbed my hand, stalking with me to a nondescript silver sedan and practically stuffing me into the passenger seat. _Wait a minute...did I unlock the truck and let him in? I must have..._

"Wait here." he said softly, his voice in direct contrast to his rougher handling of my person. I didn't think it was deliberate, and it seemed that he wasn't aware his fingers were gripping me just a little too tightly. Even stranger still was the cool press of his skin...so cold! Had he been out here in the rain before I left work? "I'll go see if I can figure out what's wrong."

With that, he shut me in with my thoughts. I took a deep breath, catching the faint trace of _him_, and though I'd only seen him twice before, I hadn't forgotten the way he smelled. I shivered as the rain cooled on the ends of my soaked hair, rainwater bleeding through my t-shirt at the shoulders. Heat was necessary, and I needed it now.

_How the hell do you turn on the heater in this thing? All these knobs and glowing buttons..._

Somehow, I managed to figure it out, and soon, the interior of the car was warming up nicely. It was like being in a little Hermit cocoon, warm and soft and soothing, the scent familiar and comforting despite the cacophony going on outside.

A few minutes later I spotted his tall form heading through the rain, and his expression didn't bode well for my truck. He scowled as he slipped gracefully into the passenger seat and slammed the door. Raking his hand through his hair, he sent droplets of rain everywhere, getting water all over the leather upholstery. Before I had time to formulate a greeting, he took on that statue-like quality again, and it was weird, but fascinating.

"You turned on the heater." How the hell did he manage to stay so _still?_

"I was cold. It's rainy." Unable to fight back my curiosity, I stared at him, catching my mouth just barely hanging open at the sight of this guy when wet. I was _mesmerized_. There should be some sort of law forbidding this man to ever be dry. Half of me (the lower half) was mostly in love with him already, weirdness be damned.

_What the hell is wrong with me? I don't even believe in this kind of crap_. Not really, anyway...my whiny, naïve inner child was stupid and always wanted all the fairytale shit, but the rest of me had learned the hard way that in the real world, life was no fairytale.

It hadn't been completely horrible ― I've always had a roof over my head and food to eat, but losing my parents at eighteen wasn't the easiest thing to live through. My father, the Chief of Police in our tiny town, was killed only truly violent crime to happen our tiny town outside of Phoenix in a decade or more. I was just glad they never realized what hit them. Life sucked sometimes. But mine was getting better, slowly. I was doing well in school, which would have thrilled my parents, and I had a nice chunk of money saved away.

"...something wrong with the wires..." _Oh!_ He was talking, his voice low and fast, that pretty face strained as he finally broke through my thoughts.

"What's your name?" I blurted, rudely interrupting him. Apparently, I didn't care what was wrong with my truck. _Where have my manners gone?_

"What?" He seemed surprised, like he couldn't conceive of little ol' me being so forward and blunt. His chest moved as he started to take a deep breath, but he caught himself and moved noticeably away from me, until his shoulder hit the glass. For a fraction of a second, he looked terrified, and I again started wondering what the hell his problem was. Was he claustrophobic?

_That's not so bad...it even gives him sympathy points in my book, and I certainly wouldn't mind comforting him if he's afraid...yes, that's it!_ _Comfort. Right._

"Hey, it's okay, you know."

"What's okay?"

"I know what you are."

"You do?" Now he was _definitely _terrified. His voice was more urgent and demanding than I'd ever heard it, like my answer would yield the equivalent of world peace or provide the cure for a terminal disease.

"You're claustrophobic. It's okay, you know. If you have trouble controlling it."

He laughed, but his smile had an almost miserable twist to it, like he was trying really hard to put on a good front. "You have no idea." His eyes remained glued straight ahead, staring out the windshield.

"Do you need to...I don't know, breathe through it, or something?"

"I am," he said quickly, taking one shallow breath. "My doctor recommends infrequent, shallow breaths to get through this sort of thing. It's new." He smirked at me, and I blinked, blushing at his stare.

"Oh. Are you sure you're going to be okay? Should I call someone?"

"No, no."

"No, what? And what's your name? You know mine. You have to tell me ― you probably saved me from being some serial killer's latest victim." He laughed at this, and it was genuine. I couldn't look away.

"No, Bella, you don't need to call anyone. My name is Edward. I should apologize for not introducing myself sooner," he finished in his rich tone. It was like melted chocolate, that voice ― hot, smooth, and sweet, with a glossy finish that was something...extra. I couldn't even begin to explain it, but everything about him wrapped around me like a cloak, warming me and drawing me into the fold.

"Edward," I repeated, and damn it, it might have been a little breathy. He stiffened at my gust of breath, and I panicked, trying to remember if I'd eaten anything stinky like garlic or onions at dinner.

After another awkward silence, he spoke up. "Well, as I was saying before, I couldn't find anything wrong with your battery, but it looked like some of the wires had been tampered with. I think it was all part of your..._serial killer's_ plan."

Was that just a hint of a smile? Then he licked his lips and swallowed slowly, and who the heck cared if he'd possibly smiled, because the lip licking and the Adam's apple bobbing? It really did it for me. He did smile then, but it was rueful, pushing back my lust and triggering the feeling of being trapped in the chilled cab of my truck, with a strange man banging at my window.

"I take it my truck won't be leaving the lot tonight," I said, already mentally calculating how much this was going to cost me. But it was more than just monetary trauma.

"Unfortunately, you're right," he confirmed, looking at me as if I was fragile, and I wondered what my face was giving away. "I'll be happy to give you a lift home, of course."

"I can never thank you enough." Onyx eyes met mine, and equal parts of me wanted to shrink back against the passenger side of the car or throw myself in his lap. Something was definitely wrong with me. Was this the first sign of some kind of post-traumatic stress?

"You can," he said gravely, turning away again. "Trust me." It was so strange, the way his voice could go from emotion-filled to completely flat, with no traceable inflection. It was robotic, yet fluid, and I had to suppress a laugh as I wondered fleetingly if he was some kind of android. _'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,' Edward? _ Though if he was an android, that would certainly explain his abso-freaking-lute perfectness. He'd have _had_ to be designed by some really horny female roboticist, and she deserved the fucking Nobel Prize.

_Wow. This shock thing is really getting to me. _To distract myself, I began a tentative search of my pockets, looking for my keys, but I couldn't seem to find them. I realized they must have been in my bag ― which was back in Big Red.

"Edward? I'm sorry again...but I left my bag in the truck. I need my keys to get into the apartment. Would you mind getting it?" I really didn't want to get back out in that rain again.

He sighed, as if I was asking him some great favor. I supposed I was, considering the power of the storm outside, but really, who was supposed to be the traumatized one here?

"Fine. I'll be right back." He was gone literally before I stopped hearing the words. _Weird. My neurons must be running behind tonight._ But he was back just as quickly, handing over my bag as he slid back inside the car, bringing with him a wash of fresh rain, ozone, and Hermit.

"Thank you, thank you so much." I started for my keys, but instead I found the flask that had been there since Jess first pulled me aside at work to give me the scoop on the place. Right now, I could really see the appeal of a good, stiff drink.

I gestured with the flask, offering it to him first. At his refusal, I shrugged, uncapping it with shaking fingers, and eagerly taking a healthy swig. The caustic, smoky burn was too much, and I would've dropped the entire thing if Edward hadn't steadied my hand as I tried not to spit whiskey all over his dashboard. By some miracle, I managed to swallow past the burn, finally hearing Edward's soft chuckle. All I could think was that his hand was still touching mine, and that I never wanted him to stop.

"Easy there, Beautiful." _Beautiful? Oh, my God..._ Then his hand was gone, and I had to fight to keep the disappointment from showing in my face as I tightened the cap back on the flask and held it in my lap.

"Sorry," I sputtered hoarsely. "It looks a lot easier on television, doesn't it?" I could feel the whiskey warming my stomach already, and I sunk back into the soft passenger seat, allowing my eyes to close.

"Do you always carry a flask of whiskey in your bag?" he asked, sounding amused.

"It's been there for months. Jess gave it to me when I started working at the diner. She said it might come in handy."

"Rude customers?" His tone was wry, and I saw his smirk as I chanced a look at him. I raised an eyebrow, and he had the good grace to look contrite. "Sorry," he chuckled.

A few awkward and silent minutes went by before I was brave enough to look his way again. "Edward?"

He was studying his steering wheel like it was some kind of fascinating new invention, and his head snapped up. "Yes?"

"Would you mind giving me a ride home, or are we going to sit here in your car all night?"

"Oh, yes, of course," he muttered, starting the car and whipping out of the parking lot. Holy shit, he drove fast!

To distract myself from his speed ― hell, his very _presence_ ― I started to map out the route I'd take if I was driving. Apparently, I'd been speaking out loud, since Edward was suddenly turning the corner into my neighborhood. Maybe it was the liquor. _I should probably have another drink soon...a smaller one, this time._

"This is me, right up here." I pointed at the left side of the street, toward the three-story building that housed my apartment. Parking was scarce, as usual, and we ended up at the next block over. He handled the car smoothly, confidently, and as edgy as his earlier driving had made me, this expert display of control put me at ease. When the car was parked, he made no move to turn off the engine. I wondered if he intended to just drop me off and pull away. But if he was going to do that, he could have just stopped in front of the house. There wasn't much traffic out this late on a weeknight, in a thunderstorm, no less. Did he want me to invite him up? Did I _want_ him to want me to invite him up?

"Lincoln Square?" He eyed my comfortable, old t-shirt and well-worn jeans, and I was a little mad ― he was judging me. I knew I completed the slacker girl look down to the worn navy-blue chucks, but they also happened to be the most comfortable pair of shoes in the world.

"Yeah," I said flatly, daring him to comment further. I didn't really know him, and he certainly didn't need to know about the settlement I had from the incident that killed my parents. "Long story." I smiled, hoping to distract him. Deciding it was time for that drink, I clumsily unscrewed the metal cap and carefully tipped the flask to my lips. He watched me intently, one hand coming up to steady my traitorously shaky fingers. He also took the whiskey away faster than I wanted him to, and I tried to scowl at him through the no doubt hideous face I was making from the taste of the booze.

"Careful," he murmured, and I noticed that the rain had started to let up. The loud rumble of thunder soon after, though, warned us that the reprieve wouldn't be long. "We still have to get you to your front door."

"You'll walk me? You could have just dropped me off in front, you know. Stay out of the rain."

"Of course I'll walk you!" He sounded offended that I'd actually question it. "What kind of man would I be if I let you walk the city streets by yourself?"

"You're right," I agreed with a tiny smile. "That wouldn't be very chivalrous."

"Exactly," he huffed, leaving the car in a hurry, getting my door open much faster than he should have. "Plus, you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk," I insisted as he helped me out of the car in the blink of an eye. Whoa, maybe I was wrong. That was _way_ too fast. _Crap...I _am_ drunk._ _How embarrassing_.

"Right, right." He was smug, and I didn't like it. Thunder boomed in the distance, and we started walking. I must have done an awesome job pointing out my building, because he automatically went off in the right direction. I held onto his hand as tightly as I could, never wanting to let go, and really needing the grip in order to keep up with his quick pace.

"Edward," I called, trying not to pant from exertion. "Slow down!" He stopped so suddenly that I smacked into his shoulder with my own, somehow managing to hit one of those points that makes you go rigid with that numb pain, sending pins and needles down my arm. "Owww! Funny bone," I moaned, because I really didn't have the breath to yell.

"Bella, are you all right?" _Was I?_

Then I was in his arms, and it wasn't so bad. He cradled my uninjured shoulder against his side, wrapping a long arm around my back and resting his hand at my waist. It was a tight hold, yet gentle, more like being strapped inside one of those roller-coaster restraint things, and it wasn't uncomfortable. And he was fast, that was for sure. Then again, I was apparently drunk as a preacher's kid after her first time dipping into the sacramental wine. I also felt like my feet were moving faster and faster, like Fred Flintstone when he drove his caveman car.

Since I was drunk, and I had an easy excuse, I turned my nose into his chest, blatantly inhaling the scent of him, sweet and spicy and dangerous, with a trace of whiskey...wait, that was probably my breath.

"Keys?" Edward murmured, and I snapped my eyes open to realize we were standing right in front of my door.

"How did you know my address?" I demanded, suddenly scared, and positive I'd never told him my apartment number.

"You told me, Bella," he answered with a small, patronizing smile as he released his hold on me. _No, I didn't...did I?_ "Are you sure you're okay?" Oh, his voice was so quizzical...and so smug, like he _knew_ I'd fall for his bullshit.

Well, he was right, damn it. I fished the keys from my bag, clumsily handing them over and really enjoying the way it felt when his fingers brushed against mine. _Note to self, Bella: never drink in front of a handsome man again. At least until you're old enough to drink!_ The door swung open, and he swept his arm in the direction of the threshold.

"After you," he said, finishing with a slight bow of his head, and I almost melted at the knees. Knowing my cheeks were stained bright red, I hurried inside, jumping when the door clicked shut behind me. I whirled around, half-expecting ― half-hoping ― him to be gone. But he was right there, those perfect lips curved in an off-center grin that made my stomach sink in the most pleasant way. My mouth was suddenly dry.

"I need some water. How about you?"

"No, thank you. I'm―" he cleared his throat "―not...thirsty."

"Would you like to sit down?" I asked nervously, wringing my hands to release some kind of tension. He nodded, and I pointed him toward the couch and then took my yellow-bellied ass to the kitchen as fast as possible.

_Okay, Bella...just stay calm. There is a gorgeous, mysterious guy in your living room, and you MUST play it cool. You don't _have_ to do anything. But..."kinda I want to..."_

_No! _I couldn't start thinking of Trent Reznor...something about him made my pants want to fall right off, no matter how cliche everyone else thought it was. It was something the artist had in common with the guy in my living room.

After finally gathering a modicum of confidence, I grabbed a cup from the cabinet ― one of the good, real glass ones, not the various plastic cups I'd amassed from various restaurants in the past couple years. Heading straight for the faucet, I quickly gulped one glass and was working on filling another when he was suddenly right behind me.

"Everything okay in here?"

The glass slipped from my hands, shattering in the sink. I immediately went to grab the biggest piece before it could slip down the drain and ruin the garbage disposal.

"Bella, don't!" Edward shouted, grabbing at my hand. We both slipped, and I sliced open the pad of my thumb.

"Ouch!" _Fuck real glasses. It's plastic cups from now on. _

We both stared down as I pressed at the edges of my wound, blood welling up a little too quickly for my liking. I didn't think it was _too_ bad, until I looked at Edward. His eyes locked onto the red droplets with an intensity that I didn't want to think too hard about. I blinked, and then I was pulled up against him, my wet hands pressed between us. He lifted our hands to his mouth, putting his lips to my knuckles, letting me feel their smooth texture as he skimmed over the bony ridges.

His eyes met mine as he got closer to my bloodied thumb, and abruptly, his eyes heated. _Now _he looked hungry, thirsty, his gaze nearly all pupil, and I wanted more than anything to be what he craved. One cool breath later, his tongue was velvety smooth against my delicate skin.

I had a sudden, unexplainable urge to feel his teeth.

His kiss was audible as his lips left my hand, but he didn't move far.

"How old are you?" he asked suddenly, pinning me in place with his gaze.

"Old enough. Nineteen. How old are you?"

He paused, smirking. "Old enough." His eyes, however, said much, much more. "Bella, tell me you know what you're doing," he said, so seriously, his eyes glowing impossibly bright. Here, in the brighter light of my apartment, I could see the tiniest slivers of whiskey brown intermixed with the black. I had tunnel vision, and all I could see was him. "Tell me you know what's happening here, please."

"I know what I'm doing." It wasn't really a lie ― I wasn't a virgin, but my history was extremely limited, to say the least...and I hadn't ever felt anything like this.

_But what if that's not _all_ he's asking me?_

"You promise?" He focused on my thumb again, pulling it into his mouth and sucking hard. The cut stung, previously clotted blood flowing again, and there was something very, very wrong about this, about _him_..._ But holy shit, it felt so right_.

Instead of answering, I pushed. I didn't see any other choice. It was better this way, if I could coax him into making a decision.

"Kiss me," I demanded, grabbing his jaw with my other hand, trying to pull my thumb from his mouth. Reluctantly, he let me go, and I dropped my tingling hand to his waist. His head lowered, and I surged up on the very tips of my toes, our lips colliding. He was gentle, his mouth starting off so cool, but soon warming a bit against mine.

A low moan tickled my lips, and I was suddenly sitting on the edge of the kitchen counter, his hips between my legs. I again cursed my low tolerance for alcohol ― how much better would this feel with a clear head? I was missing all his manly feats of strength.

"Raise your arms for me," he whispered, his lips running along my cheek to my ear. His hands skimmed up my sides, catching my t-shirt and tossing it away. I did the same for him, baring his chest to me. He was cool; again, I didn't mind, since I finally had him half-naked and I could feel the points of his nipples brushing against my skin. Right then, I made it my personal mission to warm _every_ part of his body tonight. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I pressed my lips to his collarbones, nibbling at his soft, yet hard skin, marveling at the texture of him.

"I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore." It was a hot whisper, flowing breath over tingling skin at my temple.

"Then...don't." A simple, honest request. _Please...don't reject me. I'm tired of being alone._ Licking my lips, I trailed them up his neck, leaning into him as I nipped at the skin under his jaw, making him stiffen. I knew he was doing the statue thing, and I wanted that to stop. Again, I closed my teeth on skin that seemed impossibly hard, yet still supple.

"You don't know what you're asking for," he practically growled.

_I'm only asking you to spend the night, Edward. _Of course, I didn't have the balls to say it out loud, so I covered his mouth with mine, loving the soft yet firm give of his lips. I wanted to kiss him forever, to feel his tongue on mine, feel his lips sliding over my skin. My lips parted on a breath, and it was his air I took into my lungs, sweet and intoxicating. He went further, rubbing his open mouth over mine, finally sealing our mouths together, our tongues sliding in one perfect moment of perfection as the force of his kiss pushed my head back against the cabinets.

I curved one hand around his side, slowly following the waistband of his jeans, until I could feel him underneath the denim. He ripped his mouth away from mine, his head hitting the cabinet beside me with a startling thump, his hands frozen against the counter on either side of my hips. A soft moan welled out of him, the vibration heavenly against my neck as he moved to rest his lips against my shoulder. I could feel his lips move as if he was speaking, but no sound came...and he didn't move my hand away.

What was he saying? Was he..._counting? _I wanted to laugh, but then the tip of his tongue traced over my shoulder to the strap of my bra, and I really wished I was naked in front of him.

As if he knew what I was thinking, the tension was gone, the lace snapped in two. _How in the hell...?_ In seconds, he was at my other side, repeating the same motion, and then my ruined bra was gone. He rubbed the tip of his nose over my collarbone, inhaling deeply, before dragging his face down the middle of my chest. His lips brushed over the curve of my breast, his breath sending prickles of heat dancing across my skin. I was ready to explode, and just from his mouth alone ― his hands remained firmly planted at my hips.

His tongue touched my nipple before his lips did, and something about seeing his tongue made me just want more of it. With my free hand, I curled my fingers in the hair at the back of his neck, trying to urge him closer. He breathed out a short, soft grunt against my skin, his face creasing in want.

I couldn't help crying out, the sound ending in a strangled moan as he fastened his mouth over my nipple, sucking gently. A whimper stuck in my throat, but as soon as he finally touched me again, his hands curving along my ribs, I couldn't hold it back.

"Will you let me take you to bed?" he murmured, licking his way up my chest. _Oh, so proper, Edward._

"Yes," I whispered, trying not to be nervous, to relax, oh, hell...I wanted to rock his world, I couldn't deny it. In a literal blink of an eye, he was placing me in my unmade bed, coming closer and settling on top of me. I no longer pretended I was losing time to intoxication...I had to accept that he simply moved _that_ fast.

He had my jeans open in seconds, but had trouble removing them completely, as my shoes were still on. I laughed softly as a frustrated groan escaped him, and he looked like he wanted to destroy the offensive footwear. It wasn't long before he'd finished, and he was looking up at me with a gentle, yet hungry stare.

On all fours, he crawled over me, and I couldn't help the shudder of fear that trickled down my spine. But then his hands were back on my torso, one cool palm drifting up and down, tracing the undersides of my breasts. After a few seconds, he continued up, spreading his fingers over my collarbones before dragging his hand down between us. Faint red blushes followed his path, smudging my stomach and lower, heat following wherever he touched. The backs of his fingers brushed back and forth over the flimsy cotton of my underwear, and I knew he could feel how wet I was. His other hand held the back of my head, clenched in my hair.

The scratch of denim against my sensitive skin was torture. He needed to be naked, _now._ I reached for the buttons of his jeans, and I wanted to smile when he didn't stop me. Parting the fabric, I freed his erection to lay thick and heavy against my stomach. I helped him shove his jeans down past his knees using my feet, and then we were both naked, my heart racing against his chest. His fingers were still exploring between my legs, the soaked cotton adding a teasing element to his touches. I wanted to be completely bare before him, just as he was before me.

As if he could read my mind, he kissed his way up my chest, meeting my eyes as he ripped away the last barrier between us. "Ooops," he said with a wicked laugh, and covered my lips with his. As we kissed, his fingers continued their gentle strokes, until I could feel firm pressure against my opening. His hips pushed against mine, and then his fingers were inside me, cool and strong and perfect.

"Holy shit," I breathed against his lips, closing my eyes at the force of the feelings he was pulling from me. My back tensed in a tight arch, pressing my chest into his. I felt sticky; my skin was hot and damp, and the hard, cool smoothness of his chest felt wonderful against mine. Our mouths were open and barely touching, sharing breath and sound and taste.

His thumb found my clit, slicking wet circles in perfect rhythm with the thrust of his fingers. I could feel myself tensing all around him, and the tighter he wound me, the more I wanted of him.

"Is that it?" he asked softly, almost like he was trying to soothe me. "Does that feel good?"

I literally couldn't speak. My "yes" came out as a strangled moan as he reached deeper, rubbed faster, until static filled my ears and tension prickled all over my skin.

"Are you close?" he whispered, rubbing his lips over mine as he spoke.

Feeling as if I was suffocating, it took all my energy to answer. "Yes...right there." I couldn't even open my eyes, and my head lay limply against his hand. He whispered words of praise as he worked me faster, managing to widen my legs and settle between my hips at the same time. I could feel him slowly pushing his hips into mine, his motions giving extra weight to the movement of his hand. I knew what was coming, and I wanted it more than anything...ever. The point of no return was approaching, all sensation streaming into one point in my body. It grew and grew until I snapped, sagging in his arms as I came.

"I want you so much," he murmured, his voice warm with relief and hoarse with lust. Both hands were in my hair now, and I looked sleepily up at him as he brushed some stray strands from my face.

"You have me," I promised, closing my eyes and arching my back as he moved forward, sinking into me. I loved the tingling, burning stretch, the cool and hard surface of his skin. We moved together so easily, as if we'd done this before, many times. His hips pounded into mine, creating a delicious, dull ache I knew would leave bruises, but I couldn't care less. He was hitting somewhere deep inside, his length reaching a place that had me arching and shivering in orgasm once again as I dug my fingers into his shoulders and wrapped my legs around his hips.

"No...no..." he was muttering, his lips nipping at my neck. I assumed he was trying to hold back, but I knew I couldn't take any more. And I wanted him to come...I wanted to watch him at _my_ mercy.

"Let go, Edward. It's okay," I whispered, placing a palm against his chest.

His still, silent chest. _No heartbeat_.

_Is it still okay, Bella? IS IT? _He raised his head, those pitch-black eyes swallowing me whole. Something about it wasn't right...like he wasn't _there_. I refused to let myself think about it, because_ this was Edward. He's...important._ That was all that mattered. My slight nod was all it took to convince him, and I swear I could see the change in his eyes. They were intense, as always, but he watched me with more reverence than I'd ever seen ― it was like I'd just given him something priceless...something that would be his new most prized possession. He smiled down at me sweetly, beginning to thrust against me gently, and then harder...faster.

"Feels so...fucking...good," he panted, and I might have moaned his name, but I couldn't be sure. He was still gazing at me with those deep eyes, his beautiful face lined with desperate tension. As his release built, he froze, growling as he came inside me, his head dropping to my chest.

Suddenly, a sharp slice seared the skin right above my heart. Edward was sucking at the swell of my breast, and there was pain as his teeth closed harder, tearing further, ensuring more blood would flow.

"No...stop! It hurts...make it stop," I moaned, screaming in pain as the burning hit full-force. _Why is he doing this to me? Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't he ASK? _ Blackness was creeping in at the edges of my vision when finally, he swiped his tongue over the bite. The fire increased tenfold, radiating outward from my heart as complete darkness fell over my eyes. The last thing I saw were Edward's eyes above me, black bleeding into crimson to match the smudge at one corner of his mouth. His gaze was filled with bitter regret as he bent toward my throat.

"Bella, shhh...you'll be fine. I'll help you, love, I promise."

It hadn't occurred to me until now that his help was something I shouldn't have wanted. _He _was something I shouldn't have wanted.

_There's no turning back now_.

And then I fell into the fire.

**-End** **of Part One-**

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**

_I realize I'm committing what some consider the cardinal sin of telling the same event from two points of view, but I hope it was different enough that it didn't feel repetitive. _ _I guess you could count this and the original O/S as a ridiculously long prologue of sorts. _

_I thought I ended it happy enough, but lots of you asked what happens when she wakes up. Since I have fic ADD and can't seem to write what I'm supposed to at the moment, I'll tack on a little novella detailing how these two find their HEA. __Yeah, I know...I suck. I'm working on it. Promise._

_I'll be posting __the continuation__ here, so if you'd like to read, you know what to do. ;)_

_Thanks for reading, and as always, I'd love to know what you think._


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